Losing the "Ball and Chain"

I dropped Flippy off at the airport about 1:30 p.m. today. I was surprised at the wave of emotion I felt as I pulled away from the curb. I didn't just cry, I actually sobbed. I guess I really like that guy after all...I was looking forward to feeling "untethered" - but I didn't realize I was going to feel "unanchored" and somewhat adrift. It will be almost two weeks before I see him again.

I wanted to take this time off from my real life...so we'll see what I discover as I journey up the coast.

I had dinner tonight with Frank Brown. We had very delicious fish at a local fish restaurant in Jacksonville and a very nice visit. I was on the road again by 6:30-on my way to Kingsland, GA where I am staying the night.

Tomorrow I have a long drive to Fayetteville, NC to meet Kelvin and his wife Karen, Tom Sisk, and Bill Janke. We'll be having lunch, then I'm hurrying to Fairfax, VA to have dinner with the Metzingers. Lot of eating going on.

First song on the iPod after I dropped Phil at the airport was Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen. Reminded me of how much I've kept inside for such a long time. I do that not to deprive the people around me of my thoughts and feelings...it isn't that at all. It is more the feeling that I don't really NEED to share them in order to enjoy them. I am happy to just have that as my own. Expression makes me vulnerable - once you put that stuff out there it is subject to manipulation and discussion and who knows what else...thus, I keep it all inside where it's safe and simple.

...She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
She'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay a million miles away,

I gotta' work on that part of my life......I love you, Phil. ; )